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You are here: Home / Life / How not to drown in The Sea of Assholes

How not to drown in The Sea of Assholes

by jlcollinsnh 23 Comments

As my dearly departed sainted mother used to say,

“God must love assholes.  He made a lot of them.”

Of course, unlike me, she was far too refined to use the word “assholes.”

A number of years ago I had a two part epiphany.

1.  Since I already knew the world had plenty of assholes, there was no reason for me to be surprised, angry or upset when my path crossed one.

2.  When someone appears to be an asshole one of two things is going on:

First, this may simply be a good person having a bad day.  If so, they don’t need me in their face.

Or, this could be a genuine asshole who needs a can ‘o whoop-ass opened up on ‘em.  But I don’t have to do it.  They will come across another asshole and serve each other.  Not my job.

Simply understanding these two things has greatly enhanced my peace.

“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes.”

George Carlin.  Of all people…

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Filed Under: Life

« What we own and why we own it
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Comments

  1. Cassie says

    June 16, 2011 at 8:01 am

    I too, have been guilty of thinking it was my job to “teach” jerks, I love your idea that another jerk will serve that purpose ! Letting someone else do the teaching and allowing grace for those that may be having a bad day are great ideas for re-focusing my energy and attention on more productive things.

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      June 16, 2011 at 6:55 pm

      thanks Cassie….

      “Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes.”

      George Carlin. Of all people…

      Reply
  2. Trish Rempen says

    June 17, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    So right!
    I’ve been thinking 2 things:
    1. Just because he/she is having a lousy day, it doesn’t mean I have to join them.
    2. Getting mad at that jerk isn’t getting me where I want to go, which is enjoying my day.

    They may be the same thing. They may be what you said.
    The trick is to remember it on the spot!

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      June 17, 2011 at 11:21 pm

      you are so right, Trish….

      especially when the rage begins to surge….

      Like Samual L. Jackson says in Pulp Fiction: “But I’m trying Ringo. I’m really trying.”

      Reply
  3. Bruce says

    June 17, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    “:Or, second, this could be a real live genuine jerk who needs a can ‘o whoop-ass opened up on ‘em. But I don’t have to do it. They will come across another jerk soon enough and serve each other. It doesn’t have to be my job.”

    Yeah,but man! Sometimes it’s just sooooo hard not to. And it’s just so satisfying.
    (Of course,since I’m usually the jerk in question,uh……..)

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      June 17, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      yeah, but you’re a bad ass biker dude, so it is your job. 😉

      just so I don’t have to do it anymore.

      Reply
  4. Krazy says

    February 11, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I have a quote up on my wall at work “Don’t argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience”.

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      February 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      It’s often just too tempting; helps to have the reminder handy.

      Reply
  5. Andrew says

    February 20, 2012 at 6:38 am

    Re-arranging my library yesterday. Ran across “The No Asshole Rule”. Always good to riffle through for a ten-minute refresher.

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      February 20, 2012 at 11:28 am

      It is a never ending struggle, but my mother’s quote is always in my ears….

      Reply
  6. Jason says

    May 28, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    I’m a new reader of your blog through the MMM article. Like with MMM’s blog I’m now reading through yours beginning to end. Thanks for sharing all the wisdom! Loved this post–reminds me of one of my dad’s favorite sayings: “Everybody on earth is an asshole. The trick is to learn how to get along with your fellow asshole.” I always hate when in hindsight I realize I was the asshole:)

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      May 28, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      Ah, but realizing you too are is the mark of a Budda!

      Welcome to the blog, Jason.

      Reply
      • Glenn Randle says

        July 17, 2018 at 6:52 am

        So, that’s where my recent attraction to Buddhism came from. My inner asshole has become self-aware!

        I wish it hadn’t taken so long.

        Reply
  7. Jason Braganza says

    May 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Amen!

    Reply
  8. m says

    March 19, 2014 at 11:54 am

    I’d add a third thing to this list…

    3. Empathy/Perspective. Unfortunately, some days for one reason or another I am the asshole.

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      April 10, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      Good point m!

      While this was written from the point of view of dealing with the assholes around us it is worth remembering that we are all, at times, the asshole in question. 🙂

      Reply
  9. Katie says

    June 26, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    I love the positive spin when you encounter negative people. It is hard to take the high road sometimes and the quotes above remind you to be reasonable, take a deep breath, and move on. There are more important things in the world to worry about than negative people.

    so if your mom didn’t use the word assholes, what did she say?

    thanks again for sharing – love your point of view.

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      June 27, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      Hi Katie…

      Her actual quote was: “God must love stupid people. He made a lot of them.”

      Thanks for the kind words!

      Reply
  10. John says

    July 24, 2014 at 10:29 am

    I have a few thoughts on this as well. My saying is, “Stupid people don’t know they’re stupid,” and you telling them they are stupid is very unlikely to cause an epiphany on their part, even if you explain to them why they are stupid. I didn’t always has this view, but since I’ve adopted it, it has saved me from much stupid-people induced stress.
    Great site!

    Reply
  11. Bearded Apprentice says

    October 24, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Great post Mr. Collins! Something I struggle with on a regular basis so I hope keeping these sayings fresh in my mind can help me find some inner peace when I sense my blood starting to boil. I’m a newbie here from MMM and after recently getting all caught up there reading ever article I’m on to tackle all of yours w/ ERE & Mad Fientist. Looking forward to them all!!

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      October 24, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      Welcome Mr. BA…

      Glad you made your way here and I’m honored to be placed with the likes of MMM, MF and ERE!

      I’m also glad you liked this post and am pleased to see it still getting readership. It’s one of my favorites!

      Reply
  12. vorlic says

    June 3, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Was having a tough day today… outcome of an arsehole encounter yesterday…

    So, as the day draws to a close, I go to jlcollinsnh.com for a bit of a lift (always try to end on a high), choose one of your earliest posts, and hey presto! I’ve cheered up.

    Reply
    • jlcollinsnh says

      June 3, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      Great to see this old post back in play and great it helped ease a stressful day for you. 🙂

      Reply

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As Seen On

JLCollinsnh - As Seen On

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