As my dearly departed sainted mother used to say, “God must love assholes. He made a lot of them.”
Of course, unlike me, she was far too refined to use the word “assholes.”
A number of years ago I had a two part epiphany.
1. Since I already knew the world had plenty of assholes, there was no reason for me to be surprised, angry or upset when my path crossed one.
2. When someone appears to be an asshole one of two things is going on:
First, this may simply be a good person having a bad day. If so, they don’t need me in their face.
Or, this could be a genuine asshole who needs a can ‘o whoop-ass opened up on ‘em. But I don’t have to do it. They will come across another asshole and serve each other. Not my job.
Simply understanding these two things has greatly enhanced my peace.
“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes.”
George Carlin. Of all people…
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13 Comments
I too, have been guilty of thinking it was my job to “teach” jerks, I love your idea that another jerk will serve that purpose ! Letting someone else do the teaching and allowing grace for those that may be having a bad day are great ideas for re-focusing my energy and attention on more productive things.
thanks Cassie….
“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes.”
George Carlin. Of all people…
So right!
I’ve been thinking 2 things:
1. Just because he/she is having a lousy day, it doesn’t mean I have to join them.
2. Getting mad at that jerk isn’t getting me where I want to go, which is enjoying my day.
They may be the same thing. They may be what you said.
The trick is to remember it on the spot!
you are so right, Trish….
especially when the rage begins to surge….
Like Samual L. Jackson says in Pulp Fiction: “But I’m trying Ringo. I’m really trying.”
“:Or, second, this could be a real live genuine jerk who needs a can ‘o whoop-ass opened up on ‘em. But I don’t have to do it. They will come across another jerk soon enough and serve each other. It doesn’t have to be my job.”
Yeah,but man! Sometimes it’s just sooooo hard not to. And it’s just so satisfying.
(Of course,since I’m usually the jerk in question,uh……..)
yeah, but you’re a bad ass biker dude, so it is your job.
just so I don’t have to do it anymore.
I have a quote up on my wall at work “Don’t argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience”.
It’s often just too tempting; helps to have the reminder handy.
Re-arranging my library yesterday. Ran across “The No Asshole Rule”. Always good to riffle through for a ten-minute refresher.
It is a never ending struggle, but my mother’s quote is always in my ears….
I’m a new reader of your blog through the MMM article. Like with MMM’s blog I’m now reading through yours beginning to end. Thanks for sharing all the wisdom! Loved this post–reminds me of one of my dad’s favorite sayings: “Everybody on earth is an asshole. The trick is to learn how to get along with your fellow asshole.” I always hate when in hindsight I realize I was the asshole:)
Ah, but realizing you too are is the mark of a Budda!
Welcome to the blog, Jason.
Amen!